How do I understand sexuality before and now?

By: Sr. Julia

Last week, September 19 to 24, we, the Euntes Participants, were happy to welcome Fr. Rene Lagaya, SDB, to talk to us about Mission of Social Concerns and Its Moral

Fr. Rene Lagaya, SDB the resource person

Implications. During the course, my interest was heightened as I asked myself how I understood the meaning of the term ‘moral’.

Before I understood sexuality as a sinful, shameful, secret, impure, dirty, and evil, and it seemed to me that it was the concern only for the married life. I had seen sexuality as the contrary sign of Religious and spiritual life. I did not want to talk and think about it. So I have been carrying with me a bunch of ignorance and sometimes, out of fear, I avoided relationships that could have helped me become more mature. And some other times I made mistakes and just managed to move on with my commitment in the Religious life.

However, this module helped me learn that sexuality has to do with my personal identity; I am an embodied being. Human beings have physical, genital, emotional components. Sexuality is incomplete by itself; it must move towards and find its completion in intimacy; the importance of how I am with others. We grow as sexual human beings. Sexual energy is a vital component. Healthy human friendships are not always detrimental to celibacy, but can be positively beneficial providing us with the ability to listen; willingness to reveal ourselves while inviting others to self-disclosure. I am aware of the non- choice and choice of our lives as sexual beings. I now know that we have to acknowledge and accept what is happening in our sexual world.

I am in the know now of our physical and psycho-emotional components, and circles of relationships. I was deeply touched and affected by the barriers to intimacy because we all have noticed that everything has not been quite okay in our relational lives. I recognize that sexuality is God’s good gift to all persons. I believe persons may be fully human only when that gift is acknowledged and affirmed by us, the church, and society. I have to accept the reality of my body, whatever happens to me is for me to grow up. Our gender, our sexual identity as male or female persons, is an intimate part of the original and divine plan of God in creation.  I need to cultivate and tend the sensuous – the heart and the soul of my sexuality, and make it an integrated part of my spiritual life. My sexuality is God’s sacred gift to me. Our gender, our sexual identity as male or female persons, is an intimate part of the original and divine plan of God in creation. Instead of seeing sex as an enemy and impediment, I now see in it a deeper challenge for religious to live their sexuality as a friend and a help in living a celibate life of love.